Monday, May 24, 2010

her ex...

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest...
I'm furious at the moment! Why am I furious? Because of Toni's soon to be ex-husband, Bob!!! He's whining, yet again!!! He just can't get over the fact that he lost Toni, and how his little world has collapsed! He blames her for this, of course, but there are always two sides to every story. This story starts back in the late 90's, when Toni was in CA, dealing with some loser she called "The Evil One..." Apparently, he had mental health issues, and was causing her some grief. So, her mom and step dad moved to Grant's Pass. Toni, of course, followed mom, taking her son with her.

Where was I? Well, I was busy wallowing in self-pity after losing Toni some time before, and trying to earn a living in San Jose. I had to finish my degree, and find a job within my field (I'm an IT guy by trade...) soon! So, I found work in SJ, and proceeded to forget about my one true love. Little did I know, that she was in Sacramento, dealing with all this shit within her personal life. The irony is that our paths crossed on numerous occasions...hell, we may have even seen each other, and not even realised it. Damn, I'm still kicking myself in the ass over that! If only I had known how she felt about me back then, we'd have been together a lot sooner.

Well, she started dating guys in the Medford area, and she picked a few losers. That lasted for awhile, at least until she met Bob. She met him while chatting on an IRC channel. He, just a few weeks ago, accused me of preying on a married woman. How dare he! Who does he think he is? A saint? I don't think so! He met her in a chat room...isn't that the kind of thing that sexual predators do? Or, pedophiles? No matter, he somehow hooked up with the love of my life, and violated her in many ways (he won't see it as such, but it was a violation of sorts...). I'll never understand how she hooked up with some toad!!! Ugh!

She finally agreed to marry this toad on 15 September 2001. If I had known where she was getting married, I would have shown up, and disrupted the ceremony. I know that she would have dumped his toady ass like a hot potato, even after being absent from her life for several years. She was my soul mate, even from that far back. I spent years abusing myself, and trying to destroy myself over losing her. You might think that I'm crazy for wasting so much time on Toni for so long, but you have to understand...she was the one; my one true love, the love of my life!!! My mother made me give her up all because she somehow found out that Toni had betrothed herself to me. Toni also wanted to consumate our relationship, but my mother had found out. My mother was jealous of her 16 year old son's lovelife. Whatever; I suffered for her petty jealosy.

I would have found her sooner, but I chose to go back to war. I went back into the service, and went overseas again. I ended up getting hurt yet again, and mentally tearing myself apart yet again. Meanwhile, she was trying to make a life with this toad. She says she was happy at the time, but I told her that I didn't believe her for a minute. She told me that Bob was nice to her, and paid attention to her, at least until he got her to move in with her. Then, things changed. See, she likes RPGs, and Bob doesn't particularly like them. I guess fantasy gaming isn't his cup of tea, but living a fantasy is. Takes all kinds...anyway, she went to work, earned a living, and tried to give a good life for her son. Bob, at least the impression I get from him, really didn't like Mike, and made it difficult for Mike. Bob, has kids from a previous marriage, and not all of them are successful in the game of Life. Take his son, Rob, for example. He's 35 years old, and never strayed far from the nest. He lives with his dad, and doesn't pay rent; his dad doesn't make him pay rent either. He hasn't held a real job either, but has managed to collect unemployment for God knows how long. Bob, for some reason, decided that Rob was a failure, and because of this, he was going to make Mike's life miserable. Unfortunately, Toni didn't get on Bob's ass enough about that... If I were Toni, and I knew he was doing this to my son, I'd have killed him...

Fast forward to 2006...years of pretending that she loved this guy has taken a toll on her. She let herself go (face it, whenever you're involved in a long term relationship, you do let yourself go...I'm no exception!!! I blimped out to 250!!!). She wasn't in a good place; her son had graduated high school, and he had joined the Army. He did what I did; he wanted to be part of the action. But, like me, he was disappointed by the very system that he signed up to serve. So typical...someone so young used by the military, only to be disappointed. Anyway, she let herself go, and wasn't feeling very good about herself. She went to her high school reunion, and dragged Bob along. Not long after the reunion, I started hearing about her reunion from friends in her class (she graduated in 1986, and I in 87...of course I'm going to know people in her class, I used to party with a lot of them!!!) that she had indeed, gone to her reunion. The sad part? They all called her husband, a toad!!! Friends badgerd me about why I let her get away from me, and the toad she was with. It was at this time I had decided to find her, and set the record straight about what happened in 1985, and maybe be a part of her life again...

I quickly located where she was living, but unfortunately, I was a bit of a coward. I didn't make an attempt to contact her, but I did drive a truck for awhile, and I did drive by her house and her job while in the Portland area. I had the impression that she wouldn't want anything to do with me. How wrong I was! Secretly, she was miserable, feeling that there was something missing in her life. I too, was feeling miserable, feeling as if there was something missing in my life. So, I decided to fill that void with extramarital affairs. While driving a taxi, I met lots of women, not all of them unattractive. I was feeling very lonely, my wife was ignoring me, and feeling sorry for herself. So, I took up with several women, and ended up still feeling empty and alone. I started taking drugs again, but this didn't do me any good either. The only benefit from my drug use was that I was able to concentrate long enough to finish up another associates' degree. I had planned on getting a second BS in computer science, moving towards a Law degree.

Meanwhile, I still felt empty and alone, even though I was married. There was no love in my relationship...not that it was all bad; it wasn't! Toni was being ignored by Bob, for whatever reason. She says it was health related (he did have some health issues relating to a heart attack, diabetes, and a gall bladder...), but I think that he just lost interest. Diabetes can do a number on your body if you don't take care of it, and watch your blood sugar. But, if you're careful, exercise,
check your blood sugar at least twice a day, and take your medication (hollistic or otherwise...), you can live a fruitful and full life. Can't blame lack of sex on Diabetes...oh no, not so!!! I'm a horn dog, and I'm diabetic. I'm such a horn dog, my girl has a hard time sometimes keeping up with me. So, no, Diabetes can't be the reason. Personally, I think he just lost interest in Toni. How sad, because Toni is so cool! She's so giving, and passionate! I love how she loves me!

On the day that Bob threw Toni out (mind you, he did throw her out, I saw the emails that he sent to Toni...I was chatting with her the night it happened!!!), we were chatting about life, and how I was going to go to Portland for a few job interviews. She said that she was going to help me out insofar as helping me to get established here. Bob helped her out, and she wanted to extend that courtesy to me. In fact, she told Bob about me, and told him how I was coming up here for work. She asked him if she could help me out. He flat out said no. Personally, I could understand why; I am a handsome devil, and I'm good with the ladies! Anyway, I posted things on my Facebook page in reference to my upcoming meeting with Toni. I had stated that I was meeting destiny. I was meeting my one true love again. Well, it was true...she's my one true love, and I'm not going to change how I feel about her now. So what if I love her? She was married, and I was going to respect that, albeit begrudgingly...he's a toad, and toads end up getting flattened on the road. He read my page, demanded to know who I was, and she told him.
She told him that I had searched her out, and that we had been an item in high school. He made the stretch, and assumed (wrongly...) that she wanted to have an affair with me. So, he was going to some stupid disc golf thing in Roseburg, OR, and he told her to that she needed to be gone by Sunday the 17th.

The 15th of April did come, and yes, I did come face to face with destiny. That was the day that I rescued the love of my life from a less than mediocre relationship. I make no bones about saving her, but I will say that I didn't come here with the express intention of taking her away from Bob; he made that assumption, and lost out. Now, he tells his loser friends that I took her away from him. How she was planning on leaving him in June (well, she told me that if they lost their house, she was going to leave him. She had planned on leaving him in June, only because he had been unemployed for over a year, and wasn't doing anything to fill the void. I had taken work outside of the IT field on numerous occasions, hell I even got my class A CDL just in case!!!), and how she chose adultery over her relationship. The only affair that we had was an emotional affair, I'll admit that! But, if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else. Better me than yet another loser to take advantage of her.

So, now we're living in Milwaukie, OR, and we have our own place. The only hardships that we've experienced have been the loss of my cat, Milo. He decided that he needed to answer the call of nature, and jumped of the balcony to find a has been tight, but that's not a problem. I had a job driving a limo, but we both screwed that up (not to worry, my boss says that I just needed to get my shit more moving stuff on days that I have to work.). I'm not holding her responsible for that; it's my responsibility. I also drove a taxi again, but that quickly went down the toilet. The car that I had was the biggest piece of shit I have ever driven! No worries! I have a job interview this week with a tech job; a network admin kind of work. I'm not afraid to take whatever job I have to take. As long as it helps my girl, that's all that matters. I'm not pussy whipped either...we just work together, as a relationship should be. We're very open with each other as far as communication is concerned. I just want the truth to be told by her ex. I want him to finally stop lying about the end of his relationship, and the reasons why it ended in the first place. As soon as he can come to grips with this, he can move on with his life.

On a final note, he has met up with Toni on more than a few occasions. Two of which I was present for. The first one, he walked past me, not realising who I was. I followed him inside Albertson's in Beaverton, and waited for him to meet up with Toni. The funny thing was that he insisted on meeting her without me. And that if I was there, the meeting was off...well, Bob, I was there. By the way, what was that you bought? Was it water? I really didn't pay that much attention to it. I did know what you were wearing. That fluorescent yellow cap was annoying to look at, as well as your beard. Dude, shave that thing already! I was also present for the second meeting at your house. I was watching you from inside your blackberry bushes. You should try to relax, dude, because you'll give yourself another heart attack. Also, try to be nice to my girl next time, because I really don't appreciate how you spoke with Toni. Yes, I'm dangerous, but only when necessary. Have a nice life, Bob...enjoy your less than mediocre life...

Aaron M. Freeman

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