My family...

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest...

It's been awhile since I posted, but I haven't had much to say. What I have been saying has been said on Facebook. It cost me some friends, but oh well!!! I had to say what I had to say, and no one is going to stop me from saying it. So, let me tell you a little bit about my family...

I was born in Oakland, CA in 1968 to David and Magdalena Freeman. But, unfortunately for me, both of my parents were (and still are...) selfish, a part of the so called "me" generation. Living for the moment, not caring about tomorrow, free love, etc. According to my mother, my dad was bisexual, and according to my father, my mother was (still is...) a bitch. They married in 1968, and divorced in 1972. My dad didn't remarry until 1984, and my mom remarried in 1972 after her divorce was finalised.

She married some loser from Southern CA named Neil S. Moore. He was in the Army at the time, stationed out at Ft. Hood. He ended up stealing a car in Texas, was arrested, and sent to prison for 3 years; TDC didn't notify the Army, and upon release from TDC, he was taken into custody, court-martialed, confined for 6 months more, and discharged with a Bad Conduct Discharge from the Army. Oh well! He came home to my mom, and she took him back. Anyway, while he was readjusting to civilian life, he made me lunch one day. I wouldn't eat it (it tasted nasty!!! Sorry, I won't eat shit!!!), and I got my ass beaten for it. I had been beaten so bad, I had to go to the hospital for treatment (he left bad bruises...). My mom tossed him out on his ass (as far as I knew...), and I went to stay with my grandmother.

Whilst with my grandmother, I would be further tormented by my aunt (whom I love deeply, and I'm very angry with her at the moment for siding with my mother!!!), and my uncles. My aunt Z has 2 kids, but at the time, Adrian was little, and wasn't up and around. I was 5 years old, and an ADHD child. Back then, I don't think they had a name for it; but I was tortured for being born with it. I was talkative, hyperactive, impulsive, and inattentive. I didn't listen too well to anyone, and as a result, I would receive endless ass beatings. At the time, I had annoyed the hell out of my aunt and uncle so much, they had bound my hands together with masking tape, and taped my mouth shut. I was then put into the broom closet, and let out periodically if I was quiet. That didn't last long. This would go on for several weeks whilst I was in kindergarten. And my mother wonders why I hate her.

Fast forward to 1977... I had to go stay with my Aunt Z and her husband at Mather AFB in Rancho Cordova, CA for the summer. My cousin Adrian, by now, had turned into a malicious child. He would get into all kinds of mischief, and I would get the blame. And of course, I would receive the always present, but never wanted, ass beating. But, with my uncle Ron, I would receive more than my fair share; in fact, I would get my ass beaten everyday by my uncle just because. And, he'd do it with a whiffle ball bat! Finally, after being beaten repeatedly, I had decided that I had had enough. My uncle was an avid model builder, and would hang the completed project from the ceiling, or place it on a bookshelf. I had decided that I would be destructive, and I would take out all my anger on his models. I seem to recall that there were at least 20 finished projects around the house. I took his whiffle ball bat, and proceeded to smash all of the models, both hanging and on the bookshelf! Did I care about the consequences? No! I had figured that since I got my ass beaten everyday anyway, what difference did it make? My aunt, apparently, hasn't forgiven me.

Back to my mother... It turns out, that my mother is somewhat of a promiscuous woman. She went through men back then faster than I could change my shorts. It was not uncommon for her to have at least 2 boyfriends a year when I was younger. But, there were several she had that I did like. Like Wayne, and Bob, and Steve, and Jimmy, and Randy, and finally, Don. Ah Don! Why did you have to go and die?!?! Oh, she had her share of losers as well; the biggest one I remember was this dickhead named Al. He managed an apartment complex on Church Ave. in Sacramento. I only lived there with my mother for the summer; and I hated it! Al, made no attempt to hide the fact that he didn't like me. I can have that affect on people; you either like me, or you don't like me... There's no middle ground there. Anyway, I spent the summer of 1978 locked away in my room. It was a nice room, but a cage is still a cage, no matter how guilded the bars are. Al would send me outside for hours, and I'd take advantage of that. I wouldn't come home until dark. My mother asked me recently if I had something to do with Al getting robbed; Mom, I was only 10 years old!!! How the fuck am I going to have something to do with that?!?! Whatever...

Then, there were my many cousins. First off, there's Adrian and Dusty...my Aunt Z's kids. As I said earlier, Adrian was malicious! If I wasn't there, he'd get the brunt of the ass beatings. And, when his brother got older, they both got them; at least until Aunt Z moved away from Ron... Next, there's Pancho and Pete. Pancho was always the troublemaker. Pete on the other hand, was the one that had a hard time in school, but did the best he could. I got along fairly well with Pancho, until he'd get us into trouble. Then, the ass beatings would happen. As well as the beatings, I would end up fighting Pancho's battles. After a couple of years of that, I got tired of that, and communicated with his adversaries that I want no part of his actions. They agreed, and ambushed Pancho. He got his just dessert, and he ran home to tattle on me. Of course, I got my ass beaten for not helping Pancho. Even after explaining why I did what I did, the excuse was that he was family, and we don't abandon family. Fast forward to 1985-1986...Pete moves in with my mom and I. I was an only child, and wasn't used to this. I gave him hell, and that wasn't fair of me. Luckily, he graduated, joined the Army, and hasn't looked back. He's doing well now, living in San Diego. Pancho, hates his brother.

Since we're still in 1985, I think I've told the story of what happened between Toni and I. We had each other for such a short time; but, we loved one another passionately in the time we had. We never had sex back then, but we were close! Again, I hate my mother for breaking us up...bitch!!! If we had been allowed to stay together and grow, I think things would have been different. My life wouldn't have been so difficult.

Now, fast forward to 1989. I've returned from the Far East, and I'm sowing my wild oats; fucking women every chance I get! I was still hurting over losing Toni (yes, it happened in '85, but pain like that lasts a long time; it also inspires poets to write love poems!!!), and my mother then introduced me to Elena. My mother said that this should make up for her breaking Toni and I up, and to stop whining about it. At first, Elena was attractive. But, as time went on, I saw the inner her. And, from what I saw, I really didn't like what I saw. She was incredibly selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, and petty. I wasn't allowed to have female friends whilst I was around Elena. She was so insecure, that she would assume that I was having sex with my female friends (well, I did have a few friends with benefits, but that wasn't until later...). In July of 1991, right before Ian was born, Elena and I were at Birdcage Theatre. We were waiting to go into the theatre, when I saw Toni again, for the first time since High School. She called my name 3 times, and finally shouted "Hey, dumbass!!!" I immediately turned, and saw her. She was pushing a stroller towards me, as Elena returned to me. Elena looked over, and saw Toni...Toni stopped, stared at me with sad eyes, and just stood there. I looked at her, and wondered what she was doing. Elena meanwhile, wraps her arm around my waist, and makes sure that Toni sees this. Elena then asks me who that bitch was; I told her, promptly...she isn't a bitch, that's Toni! Elena replied, oh, really? She's cute; I guess you do have good taste in women after all... After that, whenever Elena and I would argue (which was constant...), Elena would bring up the fact that I was still pining away for Toni, or that I was a loser for still thinking about Toni, or how I should just grow up and forget about her. And the one that would piss me off the most...so, how's the search for Toni going? Little did she know, I knew where Toni lived...but, I operated under the assumption that Toni hated me for dumping her. Little did I know, that she was still in love with me! Oh, if only I could go back into time, and change our past!!!

Then, there are my kids... Ian, Julian, and Brianna. Ian, was born in 1991 in Sacramento. He's a good kid, but he's made some dumb choices. His mother has only exacerbated this by pandering to him. At one point, he was enrolled in Options for Youth; an independent study program that met weekly. He didn't want to do the work; Elena did it for him! So, it was discovered that all the course work that Ian had submitted was reviewed, and discarded! He was subsequently dismissed from this program because he had committed academic fraud! He still hasn't graduated from HS. Julian well, he's doing well (at least that's what they tell me...). He got into Del Campo HS (Ian had tried to get in, but due to poor attendance, they refused to admit him...) without too much trouble. It didn't hurt that he had went to Will Rogers Middle School, a feeder school of DC. Since he's the middle child, he doesn't get enough attention from Elena. Elena pays attention mostly to Ian or Brianna, leaving Julian to fend for himself. When I was there, I would hang out with Julian. I tried to anyway. Finally, there's my daughter, Brianna. I love her, but she's an ADHD child, just like her father...I have tried to tell Elena that Brianna needs to get the evaluation done, but Elena balks at the idea. Elena also balks at the idea that she has undiagnosed mental health issues. Brianna is a smart kid, but she has a hard time getting along with other kids. This is a source of contention for her; I hated seeing her always upset because she didn't really have friends. I'm not there anymore, so I really don't have any influence on the situation.

Well, there you have it...mi familia loca!!! Now you understand why I am the way I am...at least on some level...

My current employment is tenuous at best...

Greetings from the wet Pacific Northwest...

Toni and I returned from Sacramento on Sunday, after staying the night in Grant's Pass, OR. I really hate driving straight through from or to Sacramento from here. It's a long drive (about 10 hours of a long drive...), and I hate making that drive! It's not that I can't make the drive, it's just that Toni hates driving in the mountains. So, I choose to drive the whole way...anyway, we went to Sacramento for a 1203.4/1203.5 PC hearing. What is this, you ask? Well, in CA, after a period of time has elapsed, a person with a conviction, can apply for an early release from probation, and a dismissal of a conviction. Now, your conviction is still on your record, and can be used against you again should you fuck up, but it goes down on your record as "set aside..." After that, you don't have to disclose that you were convicted of anything, unless you're applying for a government job (which I have no desire of ever applying for!!!)

Anyway, I had a hearing date of 17 September, at 1:35 PM in Department 61 of Sacramento Superior Court. Unfortunately, my court date was changed on me, and the court didn't have the common decency to notify me either by mail or by phone...assholes!!! We made the trip for nothing!!! I had said prayers, asking for The Lord on High to give the people in charge His wisdom in deciding to release me, and to give me the strength to keep going. What I got was help from places that I had least expected! I had called Sacramento Co Probation Dept. to see what they had on me...they of course had nothing on me, because I wasn't being supervised by them. The Probation Officer had asked me why I called, and I had told him. He then started suggesting that I show that I had proof of potential employment, and this could be proved by showing emails from potential employers. This was something that I was not expecting; help from a government agency!!! The Probation Officer, had hoped that I was successful in my endeavour, and had also wished me luck! How about that...I had not have expected that in a million years!!!

I had gone to the courthouse, and I had found out that the court date had been changed, and that my appearance was not mandatory...I had been informed when I had set the court date, that the appearance was mandatory. I was informed by the clerk in Room 102 that the rules had changed in July; why was I not informed of the change of appearance? My attorney, said something about my appearance wasn't necessary, but rather, was optional. He did say that my appearance would actually bolster my case, because it shows to the judge that you're remorseful of your dastardly deeds, and you have no desire to repeat them. True enough, I really don't want to go back to jail...fuck that!!! I wasted enough of the taxpayers' money being confined!!! So, now I have to wait until 22 October for this nightmare to finally end!!!

As far as work is concerned, 2 weeks ago, I had to pick up a wedding party in Chahalis, WA by 5:30 PM. No problem, I could do this...the problem was, that I had a bad address, a church with no name, and to make matters worse, no cell service!!! When I arrived at the address on my run tag, I didn't see a church...what I saw was absolutely nothing!!! Nothing but trees, trees, and more trees!!! I had to go back into Chahalis to call the customer, and call the boss for a better address. What I got from the customer was a line of bullshit so thick, the Mohave Desert would be blooming in the wintertime!!! And, I got my ass chewed by my boss as well!!! He wanted to know where the fuck I was...I told him, I was at the address that he gave me...when I had called the customer, she had told me that they weren't in Chahalis, but rather, they were in a small town called Pe Ell, WA...I asked her where they were specifically, and I was told by her that she didn't know the name of the church they were at, but that it was off of WA-6 in Pe Ell!!!

There are 3 churches in Pe Ell, a Catholic, a Methodist, and a Nazerine...how do I know this? I went to all three!!! None of the above mentioned churches had weddings that day, and none of the churches had any mention of this on the fronts of their churches. So, how am I to know this? Isn't this the job of my boss and the customer? Aren't I supposed to have accurate address information to make the pickup? I know that I had accurate map information, because I had just updated the software in my GPS, and I had mapped out the info on Google maps...add to that, a Motor Carriers' Road Atlas; I should have a pretty good idea of where I'm going, right? But, no, my boss doesn't think so. I even went out of my way to find this church...I drove 15 miles into Pacific Co. WA to find them. Finally, after 2 hours of trying to find this party, I gave up in frustration!!! I had though about going to the drop off point to see if they had arrived at the destination, and try to smooth things out. But, if I had done that, my boss would have been livid! I would have made him look stupid, and we can't have that now, can we? Even though, this is all on him, he would have fired my ass on the spot...so instead, I have to wait to find out what he plans on doing.

If I lose this job, I'm not going to cry over it. It was fun while it lasted, but it wasn't frequent enough for me; it was too part-time... Now, I was given a job opportunity as a truck driver; I have to renew my Medical certificate, and that's proving to be a pain in the ass!!! I have to get medical information on my Diabetes, or else I can't get the physical done. Per FMCSR, I have to have a current Medical Card on file with the DMV. With Diabetes, I can't be on insulin...FMCSA feels that a driver on insulin can't effectively perform the duties as a driver, because injecting insulin requires too much attention as far as they're concerned. Not that I care, because I'm not on insulin, and I hope to never be on insulin. I've received information from the study I'm involved in, and I hope that's enough. If it is, then I should be able to drive...I hope!!! I wanna make my girl proud of me...she was before, and I want to make her again!!!

Civil Servants making over 100k a year?!?!

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest...

It's 72 degrees in Milwaukie, and whilst I was working yesterday, I found out that cops in Happy Valley, OR are getting paid over $150k a year...what?!?! How is this possible? How can a cop in the Metro Portland, OR area make over $100k a year, and a Cisco CCIE can't make over $80k? A cop up here doesn't face the same level of danger as a cop in CA, but yet, they're making over $100k. This is proof positive that the unions have too much power here, and the public sector unions have the most power!!! There is no way a cop in OR should be making that kinda money. I wonder if they're familiar with Bell, CA? Recently, Bell, CA city managers were making over $600k. That caused a firestorm in CA. CA is in economic dire straights, and here they are paying exorbitant amounts of money for someone that doesn't deserve it. Did they go to college, earn a degree, and put it into practice? In government? I doubt it...

Oregon is willing to pay out exorbitant amounts of money for it's Law Enforcement, but yet, they're not willing to pay IT professionals chump change. An IT professional (such as myself...), has gone to college, gotten a degree, gotten advanced training and schooling, and as a result, deserves to make the big bucks. But, whenever there's a shortage of IT professionals, companies scream bloody murder about there not being enough qualified American IT professionals. The problem is that there are enough qualified professionals, but rather, the real problem is that there are too many companies out there that aren't willing to pay us what we're really worth. They'd rather pay for an H-1B import worker, and pay that worker what the same wages they get paid in the home country. I've had enough of those firms outsourcing our IT jobs. There's nothing worse than an a qualified American IT professional being sold out so a company can save a buck.

I have issues with my fiance's soon to be Ex husband, Bob. But, like me, he's an IT professional. The difference between him and I is that he doesn't have an IT degree, and he doesn't have industry certs. What he does have is experience, and a certificate of completion of a training program. He, originally, worked for Nike's IT department in-house. Unfortunately for him, Nike outsourced the IT department, and he lost his job. Luckily for him, the outsource firm hired the whole department. Later on, the outsourcing firm decided to sell that contract to another firm, and they lost their jobs. Another firm said they'd be rehired, but it didn't happen. Finally, he got picked up by the firm he's working with now. But he's been out of work for over 2 years. He's worked off and on during that 2 year period, but it wasn't enough for Toni. She insisted that he find work somewhere else; they had bills that needed to be paid, and unemployment didn't cover it... He simply refused to find work elsewhere. Me? I've worked all over Northern CA, and I'm not afraid to commute to work. Anyway, Toni got tired of being tired, and she had enough of him. Bob, should have gotten certified, but he didn't. At least, he would have kept working continuously.

Maybe, after the divorce, he'll understand where he screwed up, and try to make up for those shortcomings, but I highly doubt it...

Boycott the Red and Black Cafe?!?!? Why? Because they told a cop to leave?

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest,

Recently, a coffee shop in the Northeast part of Portland, Oregon asked a police officer to leave their establishment. This has caused a shitstorm from the conservatives here in Portland. I for one, think that this coffee shop did the right thing by asking this cop to leave. I don't necessarily agree with the reasons why this cafe did what it did. But, what ever happened to businesses having the right to refuse service to anyone? I, am not a big fan of Law Enforcement in Oregon or in California, but unfortunately, they're a necessary evil.

What does need to happen though, is that California POST Commission, and Oregon's DPSST need to a favour for their communities by setting even higher standards for peace officer training. Take for example, it should be mandatory that law enforcement candidates should be veterans of the Armed Forces. Why? Because, the military has a tendency to temper even the most arrogant of men or women. Humility should be high within the law enforcement community. I say this because I was at one time, a reserve Sheriff's Deputy with the San Bernardino Co Sheriff's Department 20 years ago. It taught me a lot about how petty men and women in law enforcement can be. How they have the tendency to ignore their oath of office, and focus upon selfish needs.

My friend, Dave Blaylock, will hate me for saying this, but I feel that most cops (the military veterans can be forgiven...) are in it for the wrong reasons. Most are in it for the job stability. For the most part, a cop is nothing more than a civil servant with a gun. He/she has the authority granted to them by the state to enforce the law. But, for some, that power can go their head, and start to affect them. That's why the agencies that hire screen candidates with Pschy evaluations. Unfortunately, they aren't always effective at catching those that eventually go bad.

I think that Robert Heinlein had a good idea back when he wrote the book "Starship Troopers," making all civil servant jobs only available to veterans. I say this because the majority of cops today have no idea what it means to actually place their lives on the line for their country. I don't consider driving around in a car for 8 to 10 hours a day, walking around every so often to check things out, and maybe arresting someone to be that dangerous. Sure, you can get injured on the job, but let's not forget those that put on the uniform of this great nation. How many people have been killed in the recent wars fought to safeguard this nation? And, how many cops died while protecting our communities? Not that many, when you compare how many died in combat, or even in peacetime.

I get tired of people equating what a cop does to what I did while I served my country. First off, that cop doesn't have any idea (unless s/he's a veteran...) what it's like to be far away from home during the holidays. S/he has no idea what it's like to experience combat first hand (sure, they may get shot at, but that's not the same thing...), and s/he has no idea what it's like to see someone get blown up. I would like to see the cops on the street of Portland spend a week on duty on the mean streets of Bagdad or Fallujah...maybe, it might change them for the better...

My biggest regret in the new chapter of my old relationship...

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest...
I have been here since the 16th of April, and I'm madly in love with my girl, Toni...I have been in love with her since 1983. That means that I've been in love with her for 27 years...why is this important you ask? Well, I allowed my mother to tear me away from Toni in 1985, and I went on a downward spiral. I went out of my way to destroy myself, and I was only successful in hurting only myself. I should have spent that time figuring out why I was forced to break up with Toni, and trying to find her instead. Instead of finding her, she ended hooking up with a string of losers...her first man, the one immediately after me, Tom, abused her, and knocked her up with her first child Mike. Don't get me wrong, Mike is a good kid, but every time I see him, I'm reminded of how I fucked up, and let her get away from me. I shouldn't feel like this, but I do!!! Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel so guilty about Mike? I feel guilty because I let her get away, and she had Mike with Tom.

There was so much that we had wanted to do together back then. We (well, she...I was dragged into it, but I didn't mind; I was in love with her!!!) had planned to get married, and do great things together. Now, it's 27 years later, and I'm not so sure that I'll be able to accomplish all that I had wanted to do together with Toni. I have had a hard time up here in Oregon as far as work is concerned. I have found work, but work isn't consistent due to the economy. I'm going to have to get re-certified once I start working in a full-time position. The hard part will be locating a full-time position. She has been stressed out over the loss of work, but I've been able to be of some comfort to her. I have a job interview on Wednesday in Beaverton...I'm confident that this time, I will get this job...

When work begins, I want to get things squared away financially first. I have a lot of student debt that I need to clear up first. Once I finish paying down some of this debt, I have to go back to school. I want to finish up the transfer credits that I started for the second BS degree. Only need 28 credits to finish, or I've only completed 28 credits. Always get that confused...anyway, I don't have much to finish, and once I finish those transfer credits, I transfer to PSU to finish my BS, then my Masters. I'm hoping that I don't find this one idiot at PSU because if I do, I'm going to slap the shit out of him...

This guy, posted some racist comments on Toni's Facebook page. All this stems from her recent breakup with her ex, Bob. She said that "last night, Thai, tonight Mexican..." She was, of course, referring to food. This idiot, John Gorman, made the off colour comment. "I thought you were having Mexican every night..." That really pissed me off, so much so in fact, that I wanted to find this idiot, and beat the shit out of him. I found out that he works at PSU's bookstore. I started to taunt him on my Facebook page, but one of Toni's friends happens to like this asshole, and got mad at Toni and I over it. Well, Toni deleted my posts using my account (I was a little pissed, but it was Toni, and I can't stay mad at her...regardless of the reason! I love her that much!!!), and tried to apoligise to her friend over it. Hell, I tried to apoligise to her, but she didn't want to hear it. No matter, time heals all wounds, and hopefully, she'll forgive me.

Back to Toni. I'm 41 years old, and I'm not sure how much time I have left on this planet, but I do know that I want to spend as much time as possible with her. I told her that when we got back together, I wanted to hit the ground running. We have, but, we ran straight into a wall. It's going to be ok, though. She's not going back to Bob, and I'm sure as hell not going back to CA until I have my second MIS degree. My plan is to start a network solutions firm here in Portland, and have Toni work with me as the firm's accountant. She wants to do this with me, and I'm pretty excited about this! She has a vested interest in this, because she'd directly benefit from whatever proceeds we make from this venture. I only want us to finally make it together. That's all I ever wanted for us to do. Yes, I know that I was dragged into this, but I was willing to be dragged by her. This is what I've wanted for us all along!

I've loved her for a long time, and if all goes well, I'm going to be able to do a much better job of providing for her. I've wanted a family with her for a long time, and now, hopefully, we'll have that chance. Only thing we'll have to wait for is the completion of our divorces. Once those are finalised, we can finally get married, and live the life that we wanted long ago.

Aaron M. Freeman

More about her ex...

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest...
I just read more from Bob's FB page, and I can't help myself! I'm laughing my ass off!!! He seems to think that he'll sell the house he and Toni bought together. Yeah, right!!! I used to flip houses in Sacramento, and I've looked at their house. The house, in Sacramento, is only worth $220k. In order to sell that house, he's going to need to put at least $50k in Sacramento dollars to sell that house in Sacramento. In Portland, it's worth $180k, and it's gonna need at least $35k to $38k to flip that house. It has landscape issues (at least $12k's worth...), driveway issues (depending on how you prepare the driveway, that'll cost you $5k...), paint issues (that'll cost at least $10k...), roofing issues ($5k...), and a number of other things. He also seems to think that he can get a holiday from the bank to sell the house. Dude, have you been smoking what Romeo has been filling his litter box with, or what? The bank wants its money, plain and simple. They're not going to let you take a holiday from paying on the mortgage...what's wrong with you? Sure, there are plenty of programs out there to assist you in paying your mortgage should you need the assistance. But the bank wants to get paid.

He thinks he can sell it as a distressed property. He's got that right! It is distressed, and he was the cause of the distress in the first place. Him and my girl (unfortunately...) were both equally responsible for the distress, but it can't be helped. What's done is done. He isn't going to get even half of the mortgage for that house. The bank won't accept that, and he needs to learn that. Sure, he may sell the house for dirt cheap, but he'll still have to pay off the balance of the note. Sorry, but there will be no relief from the obligation of your loan. The only thing that you can do really, is to let Toni buy you out of the mortgage. You sign a quick claim release on any obligation to the house, and away you go! Free and clear from any obligations to Toni or the house.

The sad part of this whole sad affair, is that Toni is the only one in that relationship that was working. Again, he was unemployed for over a year, and refused to find anything but IT. He wasn't willing to go to school, and get his IT certifications. He thought that he could get by with just experience. Me, I could get away with that, but not him...he doesn't have my experience. He also doesn't have my education either. Toni told him, but he refused to listen...and that's the main reason why Toni wanted to leave him. He thinks that I was the sole reason for her departure, but what he doesn't or refuses to understand, is that what if I wasn't here? She would have still left him in June regardless of whether I was here or not... Sorry Bob, but you were measured, and were found to be sorely lacking. How many times do I have to tell you, but you're not her type, and you never were...remember intellectual equality? Not even close!!!

Aaron M. Freeman

her ex...

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest...
I'm furious at the moment! Why am I furious? Because of Toni's soon to be ex-husband, Bob!!! He's whining, yet again!!! He just can't get over the fact that he lost Toni, and how his little world has collapsed! He blames her for this, of course, but there are always two sides to every story. This story starts back in the late 90's, when Toni was in CA, dealing with some loser she called "The Evil One..." Apparently, he had mental health issues, and was causing her some grief. So, her mom and step dad moved to Grant's Pass. Toni, of course, followed mom, taking her son with her.

Where was I? Well, I was busy wallowing in self-pity after losing Toni some time before, and trying to earn a living in San Jose. I had to finish my degree, and find a job within my field (I'm an IT guy by trade...) soon! So, I found work in SJ, and proceeded to forget about my one true love. Little did I know, that she was in Sacramento, dealing with all this shit within her personal life. The irony is that our paths crossed on numerous occasions...hell, we may have even seen each other, and not even realised it. Damn, I'm still kicking myself in the ass over that! If only I had known how she felt about me back then, we'd have been together a lot sooner.

Well, she started dating guys in the Medford area, and she picked a few losers. That lasted for awhile, at least until she met Bob. She met him while chatting on an IRC channel. He, just a few weeks ago, accused me of preying on a married woman. How dare he! Who does he think he is? A saint? I don't think so! He met her in a chat room...isn't that the kind of thing that sexual predators do? Or, pedophiles? No matter, he somehow hooked up with the love of my life, and violated her in many ways (he won't see it as such, but it was a violation of sorts...). I'll never understand how she hooked up with some toad!!! Ugh!

She finally agreed to marry this toad on 15 September 2001. If I had known where she was getting married, I would have shown up, and disrupted the ceremony. I know that she would have dumped his toady ass like a hot potato, even after being absent from her life for several years. She was my soul mate, even from that far back. I spent years abusing myself, and trying to destroy myself over losing her. You might think that I'm crazy for wasting so much time on Toni for so long, but you have to understand...she was the one; my one true love, the love of my life!!! My mother made me give her up all because she somehow found out that Toni had betrothed herself to me. Toni also wanted to consumate our relationship, but my mother had found out. My mother was jealous of her 16 year old son's lovelife. Whatever; I suffered for her petty jealosy.

I would have found her sooner, but I chose to go back to war. I went back into the service, and went overseas again. I ended up getting hurt yet again, and mentally tearing myself apart yet again. Meanwhile, she was trying to make a life with this toad. She says she was happy at the time, but I told her that I didn't believe her for a minute. She told me that Bob was nice to her, and paid attention to her, at least until he got her to move in with her. Then, things changed. See, she likes RPGs, and Bob doesn't particularly like them. I guess fantasy gaming isn't his cup of tea, but living a fantasy is. Takes all kinds...anyway, she went to work, earned a living, and tried to give a good life for her son. Bob, at least the impression I get from him, really didn't like Mike, and made it difficult for Mike. Bob, has kids from a previous marriage, and not all of them are successful in the game of Life. Take his son, Rob, for example. He's 35 years old, and never strayed far from the nest. He lives with his dad, and doesn't pay rent; his dad doesn't make him pay rent either. He hasn't held a real job either, but has managed to collect unemployment for God knows how long. Bob, for some reason, decided that Rob was a failure, and because of this, he was going to make Mike's life miserable. Unfortunately, Toni didn't get on Bob's ass enough about that... If I were Toni, and I knew he was doing this to my son, I'd have killed him...

Fast forward to 2006...years of pretending that she loved this guy has taken a toll on her. She let herself go (face it, whenever you're involved in a long term relationship, you do let yourself go...I'm no exception!!! I blimped out to 250!!!). She wasn't in a good place; her son had graduated high school, and he had joined the Army. He did what I did; he wanted to fight...to be part of the action. But, like me, he was disappointed by the very system that he signed up to serve. So typical...someone so young used by the military, only to be disappointed. Anyway, she let herself go, and wasn't feeling very good about herself. She went to her high school reunion, and dragged Bob along. Not long after the reunion, I started hearing about her reunion from friends in her class (she graduated in 1986, and I in 87...of course I'm going to know people in her class, I used to party with a lot of them!!!) that she had indeed, gone to her reunion. The sad part? They all called her husband, a toad!!! Friends badgerd me about why I let her get away from me, and the toad she was with. It was at this time I had decided to find her, and set the record straight about what happened in 1985, and maybe be a part of her life again...

I quickly located where she was living, but unfortunately, I was a bit of a coward. I didn't make an attempt to contact her, but I did drive a truck for awhile, and I did drive by her house and her job while in the Portland area. I had the impression that she wouldn't want anything to do with me. How wrong I was! Secretly, she was miserable, feeling that there was something missing in her life. I too, was feeling miserable, feeling as if there was something missing in my life. So, I decided to fill that void with extramarital affairs. While driving a taxi, I met lots of women, not all of them unattractive. I was feeling very lonely, my wife was ignoring me, and feeling sorry for herself. So, I took up with several women, and ended up still feeling empty and alone. I started taking drugs again, but this didn't do me any good either. The only benefit from my drug use was that I was able to concentrate long enough to finish up another associates' degree. I had planned on getting a second BS in computer science, moving towards a Law degree.

Meanwhile, I still felt empty and alone, even though I was married. There was no love in my relationship...not that it was all bad; it wasn't! Toni was being ignored by Bob, for whatever reason. She says it was health related (he did have some health issues relating to a heart attack, diabetes, and a gall bladder...), but I think that he just lost interest. Diabetes can do a number on your body if you don't take care of it, and watch your blood sugar. But, if you're careful, exercise,
check your blood sugar at least twice a day, and take your medication (hollistic or otherwise...), you can live a fruitful and full life. Can't blame lack of sex on Diabetes...oh no, not so!!! I'm a horn dog, and I'm diabetic. I'm such a horn dog, my girl has a hard time sometimes keeping up with me. So, no, Diabetes can't be the reason. Personally, I think he just lost interest in Toni. How sad, because Toni is so cool! She's so giving, and passionate! I love how she loves me!

On the day that Bob threw Toni out (mind you, he did throw her out, I saw the emails that he sent to Toni...I was chatting with her the night it happened!!!), we were chatting about life, and how I was going to go to Portland for a few job interviews. She said that she was going to help me out insofar as helping me to get established here. Bob helped her out, and she wanted to extend that courtesy to me. In fact, she told Bob about me, and told him how I was coming up here for work. She asked him if she could help me out. He flat out said no. Personally, I could understand why; I am a handsome devil, and I'm good with the ladies! Anyway, I posted things on my Facebook page in reference to my upcoming meeting with Toni. I had stated that I was meeting destiny. I was meeting my one true love again. Well, it was true...she's my one true love, and I'm not going to change how I feel about her now. So what if I love her? She was married, and I was going to respect that, albeit begrudgingly...he's a toad, and toads end up getting flattened on the road. He read my page, demanded to know who I was, and she told him.
She told him that I had searched her out, and that we had been an item in high school. He made the stretch, and assumed (wrongly...) that she wanted to have an affair with me. So, he was going to some stupid disc golf thing in Roseburg, OR, and he told her to that she needed to be gone by Sunday the 17th.

The 15th of April did come, and yes, I did come face to face with destiny. That was the day that I rescued the love of my life from a less than mediocre relationship. I make no bones about saving her, but I will say that I didn't come here with the express intention of taking her away from Bob; he made that assumption, and lost out. Now, he tells his loser friends that I took her away from him. How she was planning on leaving him in June (well, she told me that if they lost their house, she was going to leave him. She had planned on leaving him in June, only because he had been unemployed for over a year, and wasn't doing anything to fill the void. I had taken work outside of the IT field on numerous occasions, hell I even got my class A CDL just in case!!!), and how she chose adultery over her relationship. The only affair that we had was an emotional affair, I'll admit that! But, if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else. Better me than yet another loser to take advantage of her.

So, now we're living in Milwaukie, OR, and we have our own place. The only hardships that we've experienced have been the loss of my cat, Milo. He decided that he needed to answer the call of nature, and jumped of the balcony to find a mate...money has been tight, but that's not a problem. I had a job driving a limo, but we both screwed that up (not to worry, my boss says that I just needed to get my shit together...no more moving stuff on days that I have to work.). I'm not holding her responsible for that; it's my responsibility. I also drove a taxi again, but that quickly went down the toilet. The car that I had was the biggest piece of shit I have ever driven! No worries! I have a job interview this week with a tech job; a network admin job...my kind of work. I'm not afraid to take whatever job I have to take. As long as it helps my girl, that's all that matters. I'm not pussy whipped either...we just work together, as a relationship should be. We're very open with each other as far as communication is concerned. I just want the truth to be told by her ex. I want him to finally stop lying about the end of his relationship, and the reasons why it ended in the first place. As soon as he can come to grips with this, he can move on with his life.

On a final note, he has met up with Toni on more than a few occasions. Two of which I was present for. The first one, he walked past me, not realising who I was. I followed him inside Albertson's in Beaverton, and waited for him to meet up with Toni. The funny thing was that he insisted on meeting her without me. And that if I was there, the meeting was off...well, Bob, I was there. By the way, what was that you bought? Was it water? I really didn't pay that much attention to it. I did know what you were wearing. That fluorescent yellow cap was annoying to look at, as well as your beard. Dude, shave that thing already! I was also present for the second meeting at your house. I was watching you from inside your blackberry bushes. You should try to relax, dude, because you'll give yourself another heart attack. Also, try to be nice to my girl next time, because I really don't appreciate how you spoke with Toni. Yes, I'm dangerous, but only when necessary. Have a nice life, Bob...enjoy your less than mediocre life...

Aaron M. Freeman